Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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