Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
