i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
