Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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