he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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