dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
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he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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