There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
