Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
