Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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