You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
