just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
