the new term for farting is butt boxing.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
