Someone shit on the floor
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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