it wasn't lemon gatorade
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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