CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
