Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
