she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
