im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
