I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
