so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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