I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
this just has baby written all over it
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
