I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize