I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
