Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize