We need to start having sex underwater more often.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
