You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
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We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
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