Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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