Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
