Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
