please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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