I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
this just has baby written all over it
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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