Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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