She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
the raccoons are back...
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