she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
