I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you inspire me to be a worse person
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
