that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
