So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
