is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
