i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
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thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
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He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I can feel your judgement through the phone
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize