I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
