What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
