did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
