My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
where does the pee come out of this thing
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
