Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
