you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
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white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
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I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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