Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
