i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
