Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
