I think scott just propositioned me for sex
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize