Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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