I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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