Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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