Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
