you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
