How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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