You're my little dorito
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
