Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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