So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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