I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize