I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
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