Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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