what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
