The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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