good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
